How Long Should We Grieve?

John 11:35 Jesus wept.

Someone who visited us during the holidays commented on seeing glitter everywhere. You can probably relate because Christmas does that, doesn’t it? My daughter Michelle, who is a licensed Christian therapist, used that glitter as an analogy for grief. For grief? Yes, but not because it glitters.

She said grieving at first is like sweeping up all the glitter you see, and it’s everywhere. But that’s not the end of it. Just about the time you think you have the glitter under control and gone, you’ll move a chair or walk around a corner and there’s more of it. And that can happen long after the decorations have been put away.

Grief is a lot like that, isn’t it? When we first lost Buddy, my grief was like an all-consuming chasm of pain and loss. I felt like I was standing at the edge of an abyss and might, at any moment, fall into that darkness and never be able to return.

Weeks and months passed, and I began to slowly come out of that horrible place. But I would still walk around a corner and find myself face-to-face with a memory of my son and the grief seemed as raw as in the beginning. Is it wrong for me to grieve? Is it wrong for you? Does grieving mean I lack faith or don’t trust the Lord? No, and no, and no.

John 11 tells the story of the death of Lazarus and Jesus raising him from the dead. You might remember Mary and Martha thought Jesus was “four days late” when He was really just on time. When He saw the grief of people He loved and faced the reality of His friend’s death, Jesus wept (John 11:35). But why, when He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead?

Although we can’t read the mind of Jesus, who was fully man as well as fully God, some things are obvious. He saw the death of His friend, He saw the terrible grief of Mary and Martha, and He saw the horrible price of sin. A price He would pay in just a few days. And He wept.

Some things we don’t just “get over.” The death of someone we love is one of those things. If we’re grieving (and I still am), we can allow ourselves time and space to feel what we feel. We can remind ourselves Jesus is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother and He understands our heartache, our tears…and yes, our grieving.

Thought for Today: What might happen if we just gave ourselves permission to grieve?